Dress in drag, take a walk: Jason Householder, 23, and John Stockum, 21, were sentenced in 2001 in Ohio to dress in women’s clothes and wigs and walk the main street in Coshocton, Ohio for an hour for throwing beer bottles at a woman’s car. The sentence was cut short when a spectator threw a soda bottle and hit one of them.
A night alone in the woods: Michelle Murray, 25, was sentenced to a night in the woods with no food, water or entertainment for abandoning 35 kittens. She had a choice of the night in the woods, or 90 days in jail, 15 days house arrest, or donations to either the Humane Society or park rangers who found the kittens.
One night homeless: Salvation Army worker Nathen Smith, 28, of Painsville, Ohio, was sentenced in 2008 to spend a night homeless for stealing a holiday kettle containing about $250.
Stand at courthouse with sign admitting guilt: Western Pennsylvania residents Evelyn Border and her daughter, Tina Griekspoor, 35, were sentenced in 2009 in Pennsylvania to hold signs in front of the courthouse saying “I stole from a 9-year-old on her birthday! Don’t steal or this could happen to you!” for stealing a gift card from a child at a Walmart.
Friday night with Barry Manilow: Fort Lupton, Colo. noise ordinance violators are sentenced to one hour of easy listening music on a Friday night that includes Barry Manilow, Captain and Tennille and other old time favorites. The music nights have happened four times a year since 1996, and have a repeat offender rate of only 10 percent. (Cruel and unusual punishment)
Tweet an apology 466 times: Fluzin Baptiste, of France, was sentenced in 2012 for insulting two politicians via Twitter. He had to send the same tweet 466 times in 30 days: “”I have severely insulted Jean-Francois Cope and Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet. I regret and apologize,” or face severe fines for each tweet missed. The number of apologies appears related to the number of followers Fluzin had at the time of his original messages.
Admit you are a fool: Natasha Latrice Freeman, 38, was sentenced in Georgia in 2012 for getting on a school bus a hitting her 11-year-old cousin and pulling the girls hair. She chose to wear a sign saying “I made a fool out of myself on a Bibb County Public Schools bus” at a bus stop every morning for a week rather than spend four weekends in jail.
Go stand in a kiddie pool: Bruce Crawford and his girlfriend Grace Nash, of Ohio, took a raft trip down a flood-swollen river without wearing life-preservers prompting a search by emergency workers and helicopters. They were sentenced in 2011 for misconduct during an emergency to 90 days suspended to 60, worked off in part by spending a day standing in a kiddie pool passing out safety pamphlets at a food festival.
Sport a confession on your T-shirt: Chronic exhibitionist Russell Teeter, 69, was sentenced in Delaware in 2006 to wear a T-shirt with the words “I am a registered sex offender” for 22 days, after completing a 60-day sentence for exposing himself to a child. (Should have been more than 60 days)
40 days in slummy house: Oliver Lawrence, a Virginia landlord convicted of 180 property maintenance violations, was sentenced in 2009 to 30 days in jail followed by home detention in one of his small rental properties. He was also fined $177,000. (Reminds me of a Danny DeVito movie)
Parade a donkey through town: Jessica Lange, and Brian Patrick, both 19, were sentenced in 2003 in Ohio to walk a donkey through their town before serving a 45-day sentence for defacing a statue of baby Jesus stolen from a nativity scene on Christmas Eve.
2 years and no more preaching: Philip Caminiti, a Wisconsin pastor, was sentenced in 2012 to two years in prison for advocating that parents spank their young children with wooden spoons and rods.
6 years of humiliation: Daniel Mireles, of Texas, was sentenced in 2010 for stealing $250,000 from a crime victims’ fund. He was sentenced to stand on a busy street with a sign admitting his guilt for five hours every weekend for six years. His wife was also convicted, and got the same sentence once she was released from jail.
Read Old Testament, write a book report: Cassandra Belle Tolley, 28, of Rock Hill, S.C., seriously injured two people in a DUI crash, and was sentenced in 2012 to eight years in prison, five years of probation, substance abuse counseling and reading the Old Testament book of Job and write a book report.
10 years of attending church: Tyler Alred, 17, of Oklahoma, was sentenced in 2012 for manslaughter for a DUI crash that killed his friend. The judge gave him probation that includes avoiding alcohol drugs and tobacco, finishing high school and attending church on Sunday.
25 years: Smalltime criminal Jerry DeWayne Williams was sentenced in 1995 in California for stealing a slice of pizza from a group of children. His sentence was eventually reduced to five years.
25 years to life: Duane Silva, who has an IQ of 71, was sentenced in California in 1994 for stealing a VCR and a coin collection from a neighbor he thought owed him money. He was sentenced under the three-strike law because when he was 19, he committed a robbery and then got caught shoplifting.
50 years to life: Leandro Andrade, 37, an Army veteran with a drug habit, was sentenced in California in 1995 for shopping lifting videos from a Kmart twice in two weeks.
247 years: Darryl Robinson was sentenced in 2010 for robbing a New Orleans Burger King while in drag. The sentence was under Louisiana’s habitual offender statute.
624 years: Mark Anthony Beecham, 25, of Alabama, was sentenced in 2012 for repeat sex-related crimes including kidnapping, rape and sodomy.
845 years: Shalom Weiss, of New York, was sentenced in 2000 for his part in the theft of pensioners’ life savings in the collapse of the National Heritage Life Insurance Corporation.
7 life sentences + 265 years: Ryan Brandt and Jeffrey Kollie, of Georgia, were sentenced in 1996 to seven consecutive life sentences plus 265 years each for armed robbery after turning down a plea deal.
2,200 years: Darron Bennalford Anderson, of Oklahoma, was sentenced in 1994 for rape, sodomy, kidnapping, burglary and robbery. The sentence was given as the result of a failed appeal.
10,000 years+: Dudley Wayne Kyzer, of Alabama, sentenced in 1981 for killing his wife. He got two additional life sentences for killing a college student and his mother-in-law
30,000 years: Charles Scott Robinson, of Oklahoma, was sentenced in 1994 for multiple counts of child rape. When advised they could not give a life sentence without parole, jurors recommended 5,000 years on each of the six counts.
384,912 years: The longest sentence in the world was given in Spain to mail carrier Gabriel March Grandos, 22, in 1972 in Spain for not delivering more than 42,000 pieces of mail. The requested sentence was 384,912 years. The actual sentence ended up being 7,109 years.
Phoebe's Detention Room 